What's so Great?
by ChilledFlame
Summary: While surfing the Internet, Quatre and Trowa try to find the answer to one important question, 'What makes 1x2 so great'


Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.

Warning: Yaoi; comedy. This was done in pure fun.

**...**

"What are you searching for, Love?" inquired Trowa from his laid back position on the bed. His lover was sitting on the floor, clicking away at the computer with an intense look of concentration on his face. He was on the floor, because some freak accident had destroyed their computer desk... That's another story altogether.

"Heero and Duo," answered Quatre softly. He maneuvered the mouse awkwardly on the carpet; they lost the mouse pad in another freak accident.

Trowa moved to his side and stared at the blond's back. Quizzically, he reminded the Sandrock pilot, "They are both in the recreation room, finishing a game of darts with Wufei."

Quatre turned around with a smile. "Sorry, I wasn't very specific. I was researching their fan sites. I want to know why they're so hot."

"I suppose that's personal opinion. 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' to quote," he explained with disinterest.

"But... the opinion is overwhelming. I don't understand why they are more popular," Quatre said with a hint of envy.

Trowa smirked. "You're jealous."

Quatre's blond brows knitted together. "Why should I be jealous?"

Trowa sat up on the bed and waited for his partner to come to the conclusion himself. Quatre sighed, "I am jealous, aren't I?" Trowa nodded his head; his green eyes never once strayed from his lover's face.

He slowly stepped his way to the blond on the floor. With the sleekness and casual grace of a cat, he bent down and draped himself over Quatre in one fluid movement. Quatre groaned when he did that. Physical contact was one of Trowa's most effective weapons in his love arsenal. It had the ability to pacify or excite the blond depending on his partner's objective.

However, this time it wasn't enough; the blond was still fuming over the unjust way their relationship was viewed in comparison to 'The Almighty 1x2' genre.

"Aren't you a little upset about this?!" Quatre interrogated. He couldn't believe his lover was so calm about this. Didn't the acrobat have one pride bone in his body?

"Why should I care about what some anonymous girls think?" he stated huskily. "I would be more worried if you were into Heero and Duo." The last part was whispered into the Arab's sensitive ear.

"Read this," Quatre insisted. He clicked on a website titled _'The braided baka shinigami and the perfect spandex soldier_' (1). Trowa sighed. He couldn't believe he was taking the backseat to fandom. Dutifully, he rested his chin on the blond's shoulder to stare at the screen.

_Hi, this is 1x2neckoshadowdeathoflove. If you haven't guessed, this is a Heero and Duo fan site dedicated to their love, or my love of them. They're just so kawaii, and I can give you 10 good reasons why they belong together._

_They're the hottest guys on the show. Yummy, Heero looks so good in spandex, and Duo has the prettiest hair. _

_Heero never killed Duo even though he said he was going to._

_Their personalities are perfect together. Heero needs Duo's happiness to help him open up, and Duo needs someone he can lean on, because he's been through too many tragedies already._

_They have sooo many pics of them together. Like that one on the sofa where Duo is sooo hanging on Heero._

_They're Hot! I already said that already, but oh well._

_Heero cares about Duo more than anyone else on the show. He did punch Duo in the gut in Endless Waltz, but that was for the braided baka's own safety. Awww!_

_They're always partnered together!_

_Heero's always giving Duo 'looks', if you know what I mean?_

_There is a bunch of Japanese 1x2 dijounshi. It's huge in japan._

_Relena's a bitch, a stalker, and ugly, and doesn't deserve Heero! Duo is way better!_

"They're really passionate. I hope Relena doesn't surf the web," Trowa commented. "I still don't see why you're so jealous."

"Relena's too busy to surf the web..., but Pagan searches the Internet for any offensive material about Miss Darlian," Quatre answered.

"People should be more careful about what they post, but you didn't answer my question," he said while his arms secured a firmer hold on the blond. He was really annoyed about being ignored for something so trifle as a popularity contest. However, he learned that Quatre had a proud streak that was easily wounded. What could these fangirls have said to aggravate his blond that much.

"There's more," the blond informed. Trowa read the page as it was being scrolled down.

_Here is my fanfiction. I tend to write 1x2x1 stories. Duh. Sometimes I have a little 3x4 background fluff, but I'm not too interested in them; they're kind of boring--they're too perfect. Nothing personal, but I can't stand too much sweetness. I'm going to get a toothache, if I read too much 3x4._

Quatre's fiery blue eyes turned on Trowa. "Fluff!" he growled.

Trowa cocked his head. His chin was still resting on his lover's shoulder, so his cheek rubbed against Quatre's ear. "No couple is 'perfect'," he said evenly.

"Tell me about it," Quatre groaned. Trowa decided to take that as a personal insult and bit his ear. The blond yelped.

He looked at Trowa with wide eyes. "Trowa! Now is not the time!" The brunet chuckled.

"I wonder how sweet they would find you if they knew you were a closet masochist?" the tall pilot prodded. The sweet blond wiped the blood off his ear and licked his finger clean.

"Still," he said a little calmer. He loved it when Trowa acted sadistic, but he didn't forget his grudge. "How come we give her a toothache. She obviously didn't see her favorite pairing on Valentine's Day. Duo and Heero were driving me crazy with romance."

"At least, Valentine's Day only happens once a year," Trowa reminded.

"I'm the CEO of Winner Enterprises; can't I have that holiday cancelled?" the blond wondered out loud.

"Not unless you want Heero and Duo shooting you for slaying their favorite holiday," Trowa replied too calmly.

He crawled a foot's distance to lick the blood from Quatre's ear. It wasn't that he enjoyed the taste of blood; however, he knew the blond enjoyed it. Quatre inched back to the computer. Trowa felt like throwing the computer out of the window.

"Look at the fanfiction, and they call us boring. 'I love you baka'; 'Hee-chan' ; Every other line ends in baka," he ranted. He used a low voice, because he knew Heero and Duo were just downstairs. "Trowa, we can't be more boring than that; can we?!" His pools of ocean blue eyes begged for him to agree.

Trowa tried to pacify him again. "You're not boring. Unless, blasting your lover while piloting a mind-altering killer machine is dull."

"You promised not to bring that up," Quatre said with a whimper.

Trowa hugged him. "Sorry... Would it make you feel better, if I bit you again?"

"Maybe," he replied in a soft hopeful voice. Trowa decided to play vampire. He bit his neck just enough to make it red.

His lover's eyes kept straying to the 1x2 site. He thought that maybe this obsession couldn't be healthy. He sneaked his arm around and clicked out of the site. "Hey, I was still researching; I have to see what makes Duo and Heero so damn popular." Trowa rolled his eyes. Heero and Duo could be every young girl's sole obsession for all he cared. He just wanted some attention from the hot blond ignoring him, but he was too intent on the screen to notice Trowa's problem.

An idea popped into his head. Thank you 1x2 stories.

He changed his voice, "Heee-chan!" he whined and caused Quatre to jump. The Sandrock pilot turned around and scooted back on the carpet. Mission accomplished. He was going to play through with his plan. "Why do you pay more attention to that dumb computer than me?"

"You practically gave me a heart-attack!" Quatre scolded. "Was that suppose to be Duo?"

Trowa felt like smirking but didn't. He was a professional, and the show must go on. "You've had you're head stuck in that computer sooo long, you don't even recognize me." Quatre shook his head; it was obvious what Trowa was pulling. Not many people knew about the clown's acting skills or sick sense of humor.

The blond glared at him with narrowed eyes. "Baka, you know the mission comes first."

"But Hee-chan you work so hard. The fate of the world can wait a few more minutes!" Trowa-Duo argued.

Quatre-Heero crawled to Trowa and knocked him over the head. "Of course it can't baka. I'm all that."

Trowa-Duo looked away with anger on his face. "Why do you have to be so abusive. I'm a fellow pilot too you know, and though I somehow get into jacked up messes with homicidal OZ perverts, threaten to kill myself every week, and piss off Wufei daily by undermining his values..., I still deserve the same respect as any other pilot."

"You talk too much baka," Quatre-Heero said coldly.

Trowa-Duo looked away dramatically. "I thought you might say that, but before you get too cruel; the reason I talk so much is so I don't cry. I don't want to remember my horrible past, so I keep a jester's mask on my face."

Trowa already knew about Duo's past, because the braided pilot had told them a long time ago about the Maxwell Church. Despite dramatized fanfiction, Duo was very open about the past. He felt by spreading the knowledge, it might help prevent future tragedies like that to occur again. They all commended him on his bravery, which he shrugged off saying, 'The past is just that. We got to live for the present. Ha! Six ball in the corner pocket. That's one hundred dollars Richie Rich!' They were playing pool at the time.

"I'm sooo sorry," said Quatre-Heero. "Before I was callous with you, but that was only because I didn't know my own feelings. They have been squashed out of me by Dr. J, but I think with your love I can feel again."

Trowa-Duo's eyes widened. "I can't believe it. Hee-chan admitted his feelings to me, but how can I love again when so many have died because of me? How can anyone love Shinigami?"

"I can love Shi...," Quatre-Heero began, but was interrupted.

"That was a soliloquy, love. You weren't suppose to hear it," Trowa said calmly.

Quatre nodded his head in understanding. "Then can I have one?"

"Of course one soliloquy deserves another," he said with a shrug.

"I've always wanted to touch that braid. I get a hard-on just thinking about those silky strands through my fingers," Quatre-Heero said with little hints of a blush. Trowa once again fought the urge to laugh. His lover could really surprise him sometimes.

Trowa told him, "I didn't hear that."

"Of course not; it's a soliloquy," Quatre reminded him.

The Heavyarms pilot cleared his throat before reassuming character. "Oh! Hee-chan make love to me gently!" He swayed and laid on his back.

"Whatever you say my baka," Quatre-Heero said as he rolled atop his lover.

Trowa-Duo sighed in blissful contentment. Honestly, if this act continued any further he might just piss his pants from trying to hold in his laughter.

The blond stared down at his submissive and willing partner. "I'm sorry my little Shinigami, but I can't get it up for you." That was the last straw. Trowa threw his head back and laughed. After a few moments, he regained his composure enough to retort.

"Who are you calling small?"

"I'm sorry; I was just comparing you to Trowa," the blond said cheekily. He was just full of surprises.

Trowa-Duo smirked. "It's not fair to compare me to Trowa, Hee-chan. Besides, you have no room to talk. I've seen you in spandex; the only heat you're packing is your magnum."

Quatre-Heero mocked a glare while he smiled. "Omae o Korosu."

"You say the sweetest things; my Heero," Trowa-Duo cooed. Damn, he was a good actor.

"I think I'm getting a toothache," Quatre admitted with a small chuckle.

"Then," Trowa said in a feral growl, as he pulled the blond down by the collar until they were mere centimeters apart. Trowa's hot breath ghosted his cheek. "I suggest we spice things up."

Quatre practically melted into the soul searching, tonsil tickling kiss.

"Oh Hee-chan." "Mmm...Duo baka."

"Honestly, is your sex life that boring?" an unwanted voice asked. The lovers separated from each other.

Trowa rose his eyebrows. "We're never bored with each other," he answered. Heero and Duo were both standing in the doorway. Shinigami was leaning against the frame with an undetermined smirk. While Heero had his arms crossed, staring at them intently.

"He..Heero," Quatre greeted with a nervous smile. "How long have you two been standing there?"

Duo put his index finger on his chin in a thoughtful expression. They both knew that was never a good sign. "I don't know. Maybe I should answer that with a soliloquy," he said with a deadly voice--not good. "When people denounce Shinigami's size, he gets a little cranky, and heads start to roll... If you catch my drift?"

Heero continued with his own soliloquy. "If the two lovebirds don't move fast they are going to figure out exactly what I'm packing."

"Well, I heard that," Trowa admitted while sprinting to the other door.

"Me too," said Quatre. He was moving faster than his wit; which was pretty fast.

Duo cracked his knuckles. "You get the tall one; the blond's mine," he said with a throaty cackle.

**...**

Wufei was counting his winnings in the living room when Trowa flipped over the banister hastily and Heero leaped after him.

"You're dead, Duo!" Heero called after the tall pilot.

Moments later the Sandrock pilot sprinted down the stairs with Duo trailing behind him like a vicious shadow.

"Get back here, Heero!" he called after a person who was obviously Quatre.

The vein in Wufei's forehand was about to pop. "Keep it down, morons!" Were Heero and Duo going to act like that every time they lost a dart match?

He didn't even try to think about his house mate's antics.

His lips twitched upward. "At least, it's never boring around here."

(1)There are so many 1x2 sites out there. I was hoping to use a ridiculous name in order not to offend any one's sight. If you have a sight titled the same... then you should probably change it. It reflects poorly on you're creativity. And sadly, I've had encountered all those 1x2 proofs on one site or another. Of course, it doesn't reflect the 1x2 community as a whole--just the obnoxious part of it. Hey, every corner of fandom has those fans.


End file.
